I am meditating
I am thinking
I am thinking that I am thinking
I must try and concentrate
I must be aware that I am concentrating
Too much “I”, how about non-self?
Must not try too hard to stop my mind wandering
Try and observe myself as an outsider
my foot is itching
my nose is itching
Did I switch off the gas cooker
must load the dishwasher
I must attend to that noise in the car
Is that the neighbour’s dog barking
We used to have a dog
I prefer dogs to cats
My back is hurting
Must focus my attention on my back
I shouldn’t have been rude over the phone
He did ask for it!
But being kind is better
So many nuisance calls
What am I doing next week
Will it hurt when I visit the dentist
He is a nice man
Lovely receptionist
Must write that letter
Look at the emails first
So much spam mails these days
Am I spending too much time on the Net
Another week has gone
Stop!
think of the present moment
observe the present moment
How much longer will I live
Must not waste that time
Use the present moment
Past is gone, future yet to come
Wonder what’s on Telly
Is Tiger Woods playing
Looks like he is making a comeback
My swing needs attention
Hope I can play next week
It is very cold and frosty
Stop!
There we go again!
Back to meditation
I am aware and focused
It is so hard to keep the mind still
Flitting butterflies
Changing clouds
Changing moods
My knee is hurting
Must straighten my leg
Will I ever succeed in meditation
What is the real reason why I want to meditate
Let it go says Ajahn Brahm
I like his talks
May be I should go to Perth to meet him
The live broadcasts from Perth are very good
My hips are hurting
Will my joints get worse
Will I lose my independence
Am I a Buddhist because I was born one
Jesus must have been a very good person
I am feeling hungry
Must not eat too many crisps
I feel like drinking some fruit juice
must eat more vegetables
write a reminder for repeat prescription
Good thing I am retired
Wonder how my friends are
Stop!
back to meditation
This is not easy!
must be aware that I am meditating
must not try too hard
I am thinking
I am thinking that I am thinking
I am aware that I am thinking that I am thinking
Poem by Mahendra Gonsalkorale.
This was a poem that was sent to me by my Dad’s university buddy whom I call “Uncle Mahenra”. Uncle Mahendra sent this poem to me recently in repsonse to one of my poems and I really liked it. For one, it really captures the essessnce of the struggle one encounters with sitting meditation, and I think his candid and honest description really opens the doors of “inclusivity” to those who have never tried to meditate before as well as those who have tried but finish a sitting feeling like they have failed dismally. I wrote back to Mahendra and said something to the effect as “to sit is enough” and I think it really is! I’ve been meditating for years and I frequently feel this way – but I guess the main thing that “experience” gives me (sometimes) is the wisdom to know that it’s okay if the mind wanders when one is meditating, and it is good if one is aware of this wandering – which the writer of the poem clearly is, albeit after the fact.
So well done for your sitting Uncle Mahendra and thanks for sharing your insights with us!
The second reason I particularly like this poem is that there is reference to Ajahn Brahm who is an inspirational Buddhist Monk who lives in Perth and quite an amazing meditation instructor. I was fortunate enought to meet him last year on my birthday (when I was working a locum in Rockingham) and we had quite an interesting chat which I wanted to write a blog article on. I never got around to it but hopefully one day soon, during one of my study breaks, I will write this, as he offered me some great insights about the use of love in practicing medicine, which I would love to share!
